Indian Parenting --- Suffocating !

I was so down today... was in a bad mood and at least i m blessed that I have couple good friends who can listen to me and give me a comfort when I am feeling low.. called up Gayatri and thanks gal..thanks for being there always... I was better after that..

Had some small fight with my parents.. Thtz anyways normal and it is not the topic... That fight made me write this blog which was long pending and which i always ponder...

We imbibe lots of unwanted things from western culture... We miss lots of important good things... "Freedom " in relationship is what I love most in their culture.. No mother can hold even a teenager and make him listen to her words.. They r given their own space and no one interferes in it .. may be it leads to a detached life and there is no family value in western countries..but i suppose a mix of this " SPACE" and "LOVE " is what is required in any relationship. I really wonder when my parents tell me or my bro that we dont listen to them... We have changed a lot .. True that we changed a lot .. r we not supposed to have our own brain ? I dont think it is the matter of not respecting our parents or their words..listening to them is different ..but we are grownups and matured enough to handle small things in our life at least .

I still see so many mothers interfering in their son's and daughter's life even after they are married or in a decent job .. if they dont hear to them , then they are labeled as someone who forgot the love ,family values , love and affection that was shown to them when they were kids..

I still see so many Mother in laws always trying to control their daughter in laws saying tht this is the way u shd do ..this is how we used to be in our days bla bla.. are the DILs not old enough to handle thinggs ? Sharing your experience is not the same as forcing your opinion rit ? mm..applies to mother as well ..

I still see many husbands / wifes who imposes their opinion on their partner - the way they dress ,the way they talk , the way they behave ,the way they spent ... OMG .. Marriage is supposed to be a bond between two individuals who have their own brains !!! but ...... mmm ...

I guess everything starts with our way of parenting .. we think always that it is a duty of a son / daughter to take care / resspect / listen to parents .. I dont quite understand the premise of it ..I love my parents because they r my parents and because they love me and because they made me what am .. Love is returned for love .. but it is not a duty.. just because I gave birth to my daughters, am i supposed to demand them ?? Coming to think of it , Did they ask us to bring them to this world ? It is " the parents" who brought the kid to the world and it is their duty to make sure thaat the kids get the best.... So i dont think there is ANY BIRTH RIGHT to the kids.. like in Rajni movies ( Thayai thernthedukkum thanthaiyae thernthedukkum urimai unnidathil illai) ..so when they had no choice , how do we blame them? So I dont think it is right to blackmail kids saying that I carried you for 10 months , struggled to give birth..bla bla .. they never asked for it ..

As you sow so shall you reap - So i suppose it is what you give to your kids is what you get back ..if your kids dont give back , then dont demand for it .. It was ur duty to bring up the kids well and so u did...

And getting into one's space..I think even the newborn has its own thoughts.. As long as your kid is small , you will have to control him or her because they may not have the maturity to differentiate / identify good or bad.. however, we should also listen to their opinions and give ouropinion only If you think the kids are going in a wrong way..else dont force anything on them.... Everybody has a right to live their life in their way .. just because we are their parents , i dont think we take charge of someone's life.. be it career , be it life - dont try to be a decision maker ..be an enabler...

I guess parents of this generation should get all good things about parenting frm old system and should also start treating kids as kids with their own space and freedom..

While writing this , I also think that I still have long way to go to be a better parent .. Anyways.. it is also a matter of self realization when you record your thoughts isnt it ??