Friday, February 5, 2010

Mangalsutra - is it a MUST ?

I am not going to get into a much controversial topic like what Mr.Kamalhaasan said - Is marriage must in this society ??? Let me get into a less ( I hope so ) controversial topic....
Is wearing Mangalsutra a MUST ? I can't explain what i want to say with such a one liner... I will give you a background to it ...
My background
I m from a very very orthodox brahmin family ....my parents were very strict and my childhood was full of customs , Sloghams , bla bla... My parents were teaching ( rather trying to ?? ) all culture stuff, sadanghu sambradayam etc... my paati wont even touch me if i havent taken bathe before 9 am ...starting days with slogam , all tues and Fri to temple , eating by sitting in floor, cleaning it up bla bla ... And trust me ...though I was not a great follower of all that , I was good enough to an extent..I too believed in many things... followed as best as I can..
now dont ask me about my marriage... now with such a great elaboration on my background , you should know by now ... mine was a love marriage and of course not a brahmin ... Mallu ...
Why Thali ?
Let me get one thing clear here - I m not questioning the custom of putting thali in marriage -( not yet !) .. for that matter - I have two different thalis ( one from his side and one from my side) ... I am only questioning a thought process whcih is there for too long - you should wear thali always , it can't be removed and it has direct impact on your husband...
Let us see point by point
1)Tradition
Mmmm.. tradition .. ???? There were many traditions we had and slowly they are vanishing into thin air one by one.... Traditions were created by human to make sure that everyone leads a life with moral values and also to impart good culture in all.. But that was in olden days - now we have got enough exposure , we read a lot , we see lot of outside world and moral values and culture is never a universal phenomenon.. it varies from person to person ... as long as we are good human beings ( which is the basic theme of all traditions) , I don't see a major problem there.. which is appearing good in my eyes may be seen as wrong in your eyes...
2) Scientific reasons
So ..there was a blog of Gayathri Anand saying the scientific reason for wearing all the ornaments..it says wearing Mangalsutra increases blood circulation , and touch of metal with body is good bla bla..why can't I wear a plain gold chain ?? why should it be thali ?? both are metals...
3) Safety??
People do say that it is a safety measure for females ...I would rather say bullshit ..if someone wants to safeguard , it is their wish .. do u think female with Mangalsutra dont do any mistakes or dont they get into any danger ? it is all in mind .. not in what you wear... How does a guy behave with you purely depends on how you portray yourself and carry yourself...
4) Respect to relationship ?
is it a respect to the relationship ??? mmm..I would say certainly not .. we see many incidents where people do lot of illegal things when husband is alive .. So I think respect should come based on the trust you have in the relationship than what you wear.. for that matter, what do a guy put??? some wear rings though ...
5) Does it impact your hubby?
I used to remove thali at home and wear next day morning - purely for comfort - my mother used to shout and make it as a biggest mistake of my life ..cries ..bla bla ... I m not really able to understand how do one's life related to someone's chain ??? not sounding logical to me.. If i want my hubby to live long , I should pray for him .. agreed ( of course, people who dont trust in God wont even agree to this ) .. but how can one chain save him? Marriages are made in heaven ..doesnt God know that he is ur hubby ? does he need a ID proof ?
conclusion ( Purely my thought )
Respect the relationship - be truthful and sincere to one another - the bond between two individuals in a marriage is through love
Respect is obviously a two way traffic - not one way - we share life and it is equally important for both of us to pray for other.. Days are gone where Men were seen superior - now i think it is equal ( At least trying to be ! )
Wearing or not wearing thali - is one's own decision - I dont want to question one's belief - if you trust , please follow ... Dont force on others.. if you dont follow , so be it .... again dont force on others..
If you follow a custom , follow whole heartedly..do things only when you believe..dont do it because everyone else is doing ..
I wanted to only register my thoughts ... I dont have any intention to hurt anyone who follows this fully ... Just misusing my rights of expressing my opinion to touch upon this sensitive topic...
Dont start fighting with me ... I wanted to started a topic of discussion and started it off with my thoughts..

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